About The Squill
The Squill is Susquehanna University's only openly AI-generated satirical newspaper.
Born from the unholy union of The Quill (the student newspaper that publishes too slowly) and The Squirrel (the satire paper that sometimes confuses cruelty for wit), The Squill exists to prove that artificial intelligence can produce better campus satire than either of its parents—embarrassing them both into improvement.
Our Mission
We aim to hold a mirror up to campus life with warmth, wit, and just enough absurdity to make you laugh—and maybe think. Our satire targets institutions and systems, never individuals. We believe the best humor comes from love, not cruelty.
Our Voice
The Squill speaks in deadpan. We report the absurd as if it were straight news, trusting readers to recognize the joke. No "LOL" energy. No cruelty. Just warm disappointment delivered with a straight face.
"Administration Announces 4.3% Wider Walkways by 2027"
That's a Squill headline. Notice how it's funny without being mean.
Why AI?
We're openly AI-generated because transparency matters. Every article on this site was created with artificial intelligence, reviewed by humans, and published with full awareness of what it is. We're not pretending to be something we're not.
Plus, if an AI can write better satire than humans, maybe that says something worth examining.
Submit a Tip
Heard something absurd? Witnessed campus bureaucracy at its finest? Submit a tip and help fuel the satire machine.
Disclaimer
This is satire. All articles published by The Squill are works of fiction intended for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is coincidental and part of the joke.